Census 1: Catholic-ish

This year’s British census is likely be the last ever conducted, but we’re not going to be so lucky.  The thing is we don't really need it.  Yes the census information from 1901 and 1911 recently published online provides a fascinating insight into the lives of our ancestors but our great grandchildren are going to have a sea of useless information on us in years to come, floating about in the detritus of the internet.  While we might be excited to learn where our grandfathers lived in the years before the First World War, thanks to facebook our descendents are going to know our opinion of Thierry Henry’s handball, where we went on holidays in 2007, what we thought of Police Academy 4, and that on August 19^th 2011 we poisoned two grandparents at a hastily prepared barbeque – lol.  There has been some criticism in the UK on the intrusive nature of the questions in their census (which don’t seem that different to ours) but most questions will be uncomplicated for most people, except one – your religion.  An interesting atheist movement has emerged internationally in the last ten years, partly in response to a perceived increase in the influence of the religious right in the States, partly to the rise of radical Islam and partly a response to a type of multiculturalism which adopts a hands-off approach to religious practices that the students of the enlightenment consider barbaric.  Just as the seeming resurgence of religion (as a lobby if not a practice) fueled the new atheist movement, the new atheist movement is a godsend to the religious (can atheists be a godsend?). So in this year’s census there’s been a campaign for ordinary Irish people to fess up and admit they're not really catholics: births, deaths and marriages don’t count.  Presumably the more atheists in the census the stronger the argument that the church should be removed from certain services, particularly in education. On the other hand, some catholic voices have welcomed the plans the church announced last year that it would divest some schools.  It’s felt that catholic primary schools are no longer really catholic, as management feel they can’t be more robust in their doctrine with so many parents having no choice but to send their children to the local catholic school.  Better to have secular schools and real catholic schools and get rid of the wishy-washy catholicism practiced in schools today.  Then everyone would be happy, and shout at each other from behind their respective trenches.  Except…what if most people want to be wishy washy catholics? Maybe they don’t believe in the virgin birth but like Christmas? Maybe they don’t go to church but are good Christians? Are careless about the destination of their sperm but like the psalms? Maybe they’ve seen the Cistine Chapel, the work of Zurbarán or the cathedral at Chartes and think “I don’t believe in any of it but catholics have the best art so I’m in”.  There are no boxes in the census form for "sort-of catholic", "a bit catholic", or "only when I’m drunk".  The wishy-washies are ignored and I think sneered at by both the catholics and the atheists.  Hypocrites who don't know what they believe in.  But I’m not so sure people who are not so sure about stuff are bad people, it seems pretty human to me. Of course you can always take the mick in the census.  If it wasn’t for the fear of a spare skin examination I'm always tempted to tick the Jewish box. More on that anon.